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John Lavalle Master Trainer of NLP and DHE
Co author of Persuasion Engineering

Stress from trouble with the in laws

Trouble with the in-laws has become a clichéd idea for young couples that are getting married, but it's a serious situation for a lot of families. There can be many difficult emotions that arise from a couple getting married, but when they're still trying to establish their own relationship, it can make family times stressful and strained. To help you cope with in-law troubles, here are some stress management techniques that are geared specifically to your situation:

Talk it out

While this option sounds more stress-inducing than stress-helping, taking the time to communicate about differences can be the best way to deal with problems. Have each person talk without any interruption so that everyone is heard and then have each person respond without being interrupted. This will allow everyone to feel that their feelings are being recognised and this often helps misunderstandings to be resolved.

Schedule time as a couple

By taking the time to be together as a couple, you will begin to show your in-laws that you have a new family unit to consider as well. In many cases, in-laws will voice their concerns about a new couple not spending enough time with the family and misinterpret that as ill will. But when you tell your in-laws that you simply want to be together as a couple, they might begin to realise that they can not always have their way.

Schedule time with the in-laws, without their child

This is a hard way to get over issues with the in-laws, but it works every time. By facing your in-laws by yourself, you will begin to show who you are and that you are willing to patch up any problems. While this doesn't always mean that you'll be best friends with your new in-laws, it can show that you are serious about being cordial to them because you love their child.

Have your own traditions

Creating your own traditions as a couple will help you to feel as though you are able to enjoy holidays and special occasions independently. This will help you to put other family problems into perspective as you know that you'll always have your own holidays to enjoy. Some couples, for example, will spend certain holidays on their own, but then spend other holidays with their families. This creates a nice balance of independence and still showing respect to the family traditions.

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