Stress from death of a partner

Losing someone special in your life is never easy. Even when we know that the person will return, we are still upset by their absence and long for them to be with us. When a partner dies, it can be one of the most upsetting times in our lives, but coping with this pain can allow us to recognise the love for our partner and find closure in that death.

A number of physical symptoms can arise from the stress of losing a partner: insomnia, binge eating, lack of appetite, periods of crying, shortness with others, etc. Recognising these symptoms allows you to see when you might not be handling your stress as well as you could and that you need some advice to help cope during this time.

Here are some ways to work through your feelings during this painful time:

• Talk about your partner - Many partners might fear that talking about their deceased partner will bring up more feelings of pain, but in reality, remembering them aloud can be a great healing technique. Instead of ignoring the life of your partner, talk about them openly.

• Find friends that are willing to listen - Of course, in order to talk about your feelings, you need someone who is willing to listen. Having a strong network of friends and family is something that will allow you to cope with the stress of this time. Instead of feeling like a burden on them, realise that people like to help others. In doing so, you may also be allowing them to process their own feelings about the death as well.

• Take your time - Too often, we are inundated with ideas that we need to be ‘better' sooner rather than later. Grieving is something that takes time to process and move at varying rates, depending on the person. You might need weeks or months to finally come to an acceptance of your partner's death. Others may not need such time or need more. Remember: it's not a race to see who can grieve the quickest.

• Realise your own process - Instead of thinking that you need to cry or mourn sadly about a partner, realise that you may want to grieve in a different manner. If you begin to force ideas of what your grieving process ‘should' look like, you will add to the stress of this time. Do what you need to do in order to feel better about this time and recognise that your reaction may not be the ‘norm.'

• Find a way to bring your partner into each day - By spending just five minutes (or more) each day thinking about your partner and remembering them in whatever way you see fit, you will begin to lessen the stress of not having them physically in your life. You might want to light a candle or look at pictures, for example, each day to help bring closure to your loss.

The stress of losing a loved one is tremendous - and rightfully so. But by taking the time to acknowledge your feelings, you can lessen your overall anxiety and find peace.

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