Relaxation Matters Issue 15

Your 10 minute read to a happier body and mind

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I need to learn how to relax!

Learning to relax : How to avoid a row by asking yourself one simple question

Stress Solutions+ : The "Is this as good as it gets?" cure

Under the spotlight : Mirror, mirror on the wall what is the worst habit I have of them all?

Hot news : Experience Profound Relaxation today: CD/MP3 for sale

Up-coming training : The World's Most Effective System For Learning How To Relax

Learn to Relax class : Tuesday nights in Surbiton (15 mins from London Waterloo)

Learning to relax

How to avoid a row by asking yourself one simple question

Here's the scenario..

The opening comes up for you to earn some brownie points or to have a dig. Your lips part and the words are just about to launch forth like a rocket. But this time, instead of the words actually coming out of your mouth and causing a mighty explosion that will likely end in you and the other person wishing one of you lived on Venus and the other on Mars, you ask yourself one simple question...

"Is saying this really going to benefit the situation?"

Most likely the answer will be "No", and hey presto, you'll have avoided a colossal collision that would have ended in "stress" for you both.

If you need some motivation to actually do this, read our newly released e-book called "What Everyone Ought To Know About Stress". It's only £7.97 for 43 pages that will give you all the motivation you need to eliminate stress once and for all.

Buy now

Stress Solutions+

The "Is this as good as it gets???" cure

Once upon a time there was a man who wouldn't bat an eyelid at spending £200 on a night out, every night of the week, who drove brand new super fast cars and bikes, who had clothes specially tailored for him, and who had all the other trimmings of success. Yet he didn't feel successful. In fact deep down he knew there most be more to life, and often wondered "is this really as good as it gets?".

Man's search for meaning to life, and quest for finding his place in the universe, is deeply embedded within us all. Even if it is masked by many layers ...layers such as living life at 100 mph all the time, gathering "stuff" around you or drinking yourself into unconsciousness night after night. It's a search that for many leads to ill-health, trouble and strive, but only because they haven't yet acquired the knowledge of "Those That Know".

The Knowledge of Those That Know

What follows is a summary of what you will experience for yourself if you join Charles Moore on the 25th and 26th November in Kingston for The Mythogenic Self Experience 2-day training program.

• You are part of something that is greater than you and moving through your life with that awareness ever present will give you extraordinary power.

• The search is over and you come to rest when you discover that what you are searching for is in fact within you already.

• When you know how to organize yourself to be at rest on the inside and simultaneously hold that awareness of "Greater Than Self" in mind, a directionality (a path) becomes present to you. This is your very own "guiding star".

• There is no "end goal" and the path is nothing to do with acquiring things. It's about a way of being in your life and the choices you are making on a moment to moment basis.

• It's less about "being yourself", and more about deciding the kind of person that you want to be. A way to thinking of this is "what kind of person do I want to be remembered as?" or "what are the values that are important to me, that I want to be modeling out myself?" or "what do you want to role model to your children?".

• Living authentically means choosing to do the things (engaging in the behaviour's) that will allow you to become the kind of person that you identified in the point above.

• Life is chaotic, it will be hard at times, and there will be many an occasion where you question yourself and think "what the hell am I doing?!". This is called life, and it's what lets you know that you're alive.

• Your "guiding star" is what you need to align yourself to endlessly. When you feel yourself off track, check-in with your guiding star, and return there. Some days you may have to do this a hundred times or more!

Charles and I would love for you to join us on our next weekend. This is your opp(o)rtunity to invest in yourself, and it will give you the best possible return on your mo(n)ey!

Book n(o)w

Under the spotlight

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, What is the Worst Habit I Have Of Them All?

Here's a "self-coaching" exercise that will put YOU under the spot light. The reason for this is that if you want "relaxed" to become a way of life for you, you will have to at some stage face up to your own self-defeating habits.

The criteria for a self-defeating habit:

• It's something that you do - a behaviour
• It's a behaviour that repeats itself over and over
• It's a behaviour that doesn't serve you and keeps you stuck

Other things to be aware of are that the behaviour probably drives other people nuts, and that, as weird as it might seem, there is some comfort and security that you derive from holding on to this behaviour.

Examples of self-defeating behaviour are: Running away from situations that get heated; Wanting things to go your way; Not owning up when you are wrong or don't know. The list is endless, and what may be a self-defeating habit for one person, may not be for another.

Follow these steps to creating a kind of relaxation that will become a way of life for you...

Step 1
Identify your most self-defeating behaviour (Clue: It will usually be the thing that causes you the biggest emotional drain/the most upset/frustration etc.)

Step 2
Answer the following questions:

• What is the trigger(s) that causes this behaviour to show up? (i.e. When X,Y,Z is present or is occurring, then I run this self-defeating behaviour).
• Does it happen when I am anywhere in particular?
• Does it happen when I am with anyone in particular?

Step 3
Assuming that this self-defeating behaviour is also in some way impacting at least one other person, consider what experience you would rather be creating for that other person/people.

Step 4
Now ask yourself: "When the trigger occurs, what can I say or do differently to interrupt my usual self-defeating behaviour, and create the experience that I would rather be having for myself and the other person?"

Step 5
Reward yourself with a treat of some kind each time you are successful in interrupting the old self-defeating behaviour.

A note on what to do if the mirror you are looking in to, isn't reflecting back what's really there

This isn't uncommon, and what The 4th R recommend in this situation is that you ask someone who you can trust to work with you to help you un-do your self-defeating behaviour.

Find out about a short term coaching program with Charles by contacting The-4th-R on +44-(0)20-8974-8974 or by emailing charles@the4thr.co.uk . Please note that telephone coaching is available.

Hot news

Experience Profound Relaxation today: New product for sale

An audio product called "Profound Relaxation" is the first in a line of self-help products being produced by The 4th R. It leads listeners into a profoundly relaxed state which is the foundation upon which stress and anxiety "coping skills" can be built.

Buy now

Up-coming training

The Worlds Most Effective System for Learning How to Relax

"Spend two days with me and I will give you the ability to be relaxed forever!" - Charles Moore

Do you want to be able to relax - naturally?

Would you like to be relaxed regardless of who you're with or where you are?

When things around you are chaotic, do you find it hard to remain calm and at ease?

Do you find yourself worrying a lot?

Is learning to relax critical for your health - whether that be to support the recovery from a health problem, or to combat the early symptoms of stress and anxiety?

Then the The Relaxation Training can definitely help you! January 13th/14th - U.K.

Learn to Relax Class

Drop-in on our Learn to Relax class that takes place every Tuesday night from 6.30 to 7.30 in Surbiton (Claremont Natural Health Centre - 15 minutes from London Waterloo). It's just £7 to attend and these evenings are suitable for anyone, regardless of age and stress levels, including the elderly and disabled.

Find out more

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