Relaxation Matters Issue 14

Your 10 minute read to a happier body and mind

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I Need To Learn How To Relax!

Learning to relax : Program yourself to relax

Stress Solutions+ : The story of a rich man and his precious diamonds

Under the spotlight : Become best buddies with your pain

Hot news : Experience Profound Relaxation today: New product for sale

Up-coming training : The world's most effective system for learning how to relax

Learn to Relax class : Tuesday nights in Surbiton (15mins from London Waterloo)

Learning to relax

Program yourself to relax

5 ideas for turning stress triggers into relaxation cues

Program yourself to relax any time you find yourself in a stressful situation! By giving yourself relaxation cues - suggestions or actions that relax you - you can turn any stressing event into a relaxation signal.

1. When your boss starts up on one, take a deep breath, go to the pencil sharpener, and grind away. With each turn, feel yourself let go and relax deeply.

2. When the length of your to do list starts freaking you out, slip your shoes off and put your attention on what it feels like for your feet to be connected to the ground.

3. When the 'phone on your desk just won't stop ringing, turn every ring into an instruction to relax. Ring, Ring ....would become Relax, Relax.

4. When your partner does that thing that drives you nuts, deliberately blink and hold your eyes shut for just a moment longer than usual. Feel the muscles around your eyes, forehead, cheeks and mouth soften like melting butter.

5. When making a decision starts to turn into an argument, turn the situation into a little game instead. How much love can you transmit to the other person non-verbally?!

Call to action: Identify your stress triggers and find an action that you can take for each one that will bring on feelings of relaxation.

Stress Solutions+

The story of a rich man and his precious diamonds

There was once a rich man who was searching for peace of mind. He went from one sage to another and they all gave great advice, but advice helps nobody.

Finally his paths crossed with a man who was thought of as the village idiot - that man stopped him on the road one day and said, "You are unnecessarily wasting your time. None of these are sages; I know them perfectly, but because I am an idiot nobody believes me. Just seeing you so tortured continuously for peace of mind, I thought it would be better if I showed you the right person. No one asks me for advice and I ne(v)er give any advice to anybody. But it is too much: seeing you so sad and miserable. Go and see this man in the next village."

The rich man immediately went, with a big bag full of precious diamonds, on his beautiful horse. He reached the next village and saw this man who was known to the Sufis as Mulla Nasruddin.

He asked the Mulla, "Can you help me to attain peace of mind?" Mulla said, "Help? I can give it to you."

The rich man thought "This is strange. This man must be an even greater idiot that the man of the other village for he is saying 'I can give it to you.' "'

The rich man said, "You can give it to me? I have been to all kinds of sages, they all gave advice, do this, do that, discipline yourself, do charity, help the poor, open hospitals, this and that. They say all these things, and in fact I have done all those things; nothing helps. In fact, more and more trouble arises. And you say you can give it to me?"

The Mulla said, "It is so simple. You get down from the horse." So the rich man got down from the horse. He was holding his bag, and Mulla asked, "What are you holding in your bag so closely to your heart?"

He said, "These are precious diamonds. If you can give me peace, I will give you this bag." But before he could even figure out what was happening, Mulla took the bag and ran away!

The rich man for a moment was in shock; he could not even think what to do. But then he started to chase him, but it was Mulla's home town and Mulla knew every street and every shortcut. The rich man had ne(v)er run in his whole life and he was so fat. He was crying and huffing and puffing, with tears rolling down his cheeks. He said, "I have been completely cheated! This man has taken away all my life's hard work, my earnings; he has taken away everything."

So a crowd followed, and all were laughing. He said, "Are you all idiots? Is this town full of idiots? I have been completely ruined, and rather than catching hold of the thief you are all laughing."

They said, "He is not a thief, he is a very sage man." The rich man some how managed to follow Mulla. Mulla arrived back under the same tree where the horse was still standing. He sat down under the tree with the bag, and the rich man came crying and weeping. Mulla said, "You take this bag." The rich man took the bag and put it close to his heart. Mulla said, "How does it feel? Can you feel some peace of mind?"

The rich man said, "Yes it feels very peaceful. You are a strange man, and you have strange methods." Mulla said, "No strange methods - simple mathematics. What ever you have, you start taking it for granted. You just have to be given an opp(o)rtunity to lose it; then immediately you will become aware of what you have lost. You have not gained anything new; it is the same bag that you have been carrying with no peace of mind. N(o)w you are holding the same bag close to your heart and anybody can see how peaceful you are looking, a perfect sage!"

This story has been taken from the book: Courage - The Joy of Living Dangerously by Osho.(ISBN 0-312-20517-1).

Under the spotlight

Become best buddies with your pain

As any chronic pain suffer can attest, event the most powerful painkillers can lose their effectiveness after a time and their dosage must be increased. After a point, the side effects of the increased dosage becomes a new problem unto itself.

There are no drugs that give totally safe, long-term relief. It's valuable to remember however that it's your body/mind that's responsible for creating chronic pain, so perhaps it's through your body/mind that ultimate long-term relief is to be found also.

Here is a method for getting control over your pain that is achieved through bodily awareness.

Become best buddies with your pain

Make a commitment to really get to know your pain. It's a way of focusing your attention and concentration, which is the chief ingredient in natural pain control. This may seem absurd and opposite to what you really want, but if pain is interrupting all else, then focusing on it is the most direct approach to changing the intensity of it.

Give the pain a 'personality'

Examine your pain thoroughly. Describe it to yourself (this is what we mean by giving it a personality). Is it a burning sensation? Is it like a red hot poker? Does it feel like hot oil pouring over you? Does it throb with the rhythm of your heart? Does it feel like needles sticking in you?

Mentally picture what the pain looks like. Does it have a shape to it? Does it move? Is there colour? Is there texture to it? Create a full image that seems to fit the pain.

Make the pain a playground for experimentation

Incorporate deep and regular breathing while holding this image in your mind's eye. Imagine a small portion of your pain escaping with each outward breath. See your pain shrink. If there is colour, see the colour fade. As you inhale, call back the pain that left. Continue doing this. Repeating it often.

You may wonder why it's important to call the pain back. The reason is because what you are working on is controlling the pain, and the value of building the control to retrieve pain, is that you will find yourself able to remove it that much better as well.

Learning this will take some time and practice. It may not all happen in your first attempt. Be patient and continue practicing. When you find that you've been able to vary the pain, even just a little, it is very rewarding, and it will have demonstrated that you have begun to control the perception of your pain.

Find out about our telephone or face-to-face lessons to help you fast track this process.

Hot news

Experience Profound Relaxation today: New product for sale

An audio product called "Profound Relaxation" is the first in a line of self-help products being produced by The 4th R. It leads listeners into a profoundly relaxed state which is the foundation upon which stress and anxiety "coping skills" can be built.

Buy n(o)w

Up-coming training

The Worlds Most Effective System for Learning How to Relax

"Spend two days with me and I will give you the ability to be relaxed forever!" - Charles Moore

Do you want to be able to relax - naturally?

Would you like to be relaxed regardless of who you're with or where you are?

When things around you are chaotic, do you find it hard to remain calm and at ease?

Do you find yourself worrying a lot?

Is learning to relax critical for your health - whether that be to support the recovery from a health problem, or to combat the early symptoms of stress and anxiety?

Then the Relaxation Training can definitely help you! January 13th/14th - U.K.

Learn to Relax Class

Drop-in on our Learn to Relax class that takes place every Tuesday night from 6.30 to 7.30 in Surbiton (Claremont Natural Health Centre - 15 minutes from London Waterloo). It's just £7 to attend and these evenings are suitable for anyone, regardless of age and stress levels, including the elderly and disabled.

Find out more

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