 Working with Charles and watching him work with others is a pleasure and a privilege and I am looking forward to working with him again | Your 10 minute read to a happier body and mind Questions? Call +44-20-8974-8974 "If you've found this useful, please help us grow our readership by using "forward to a friend" at the bottom of the email. Thanks. " Stress Solutions+ : Molding other people's behaviour Under the spotlight : A different way to think of your symptoms Hot news : Experience Profound Relaxation today: New product for sale Up-coming training : ...where the quality of the biscuits won't be what you remember most! Learn to Relax class : New weekly "drop-in" class A work meeting where people are relaxed and being authentic. "Yeah right!" .... I hear you cry. But that's exactly how it could be if staff had the opport(u)nity to learn how to be relaxed using the regular advice of "The Relaxation Doctor". With numerous reports of the soaring pressure in the workplace, and the cost of stress weighing heavily of the bottom line, it's a relief that stress relief is n(o)w available to everyone in organizations when they hire the services of "The Relaxation Doctor" to write a regular column in their staff newsletter. And it's so in-expensive, that it would be remiss of management to ignore this offer - especially as it's often poor management that can and does seriously harm employees' health. It's a sad fact that managers are often so busy and stressed themselves that the people management side of business often slips down the agenda. Most of the stress management advice and training that exists today still revolves around adapting the environment to 'fit' the individual. This could include things like redesigning the task, establishing flexible work schedules or establishing new policies. At The 4th R, we refer to this type of intervention as changing things on the outside to feel a different way inside (suitable to an extent and in certain situations). The other commonly found form of stress management advice comes in the form of improving the stress management skills of the individual through training or other activities. Examples of such things include Time Management Training, Assertiveness Training, Delegation Skills. At The 4th R we support this kind of training, but are dismayed by how common it is to give such training, without ensuring suitable foundations are in place first. The foundation that we are referring to is one where the individual knows how to organize them self from the inside to be a very particular way in the world (not just at work!). A way where a person shows up being completely at rest on the inside and able to be authentic. This is an example of the ethos behind our private lessons and group training's, and what will be taught by "The Relaxation Doctor" if he writes a regular column for your staff newsletter. Call Janice on 020-8974-8974 or visit this page for information about our 3 month trial offer without any cost to your organisation. Molding other people's behaviour We have all been in situations where people who we have a relationship with says or does something that's detrimental to themselves and to others. In these situations it can be all to easy to "get stressed". How about if you replace the "getting stressed about it" role with the role of teacher? Specifically teaching (or molding) the other person's behaviour into something more positive, for them, and for you. Let's look at how to do this step by step: STEP 1: Planning What behaviour's specifically do you want to see from the other person? What will you have to do (what environment will you have to create) so that they demonstrate those behaviour's? Imagine yourself as a teacher preparing for a class. Be creative in order to achieve your desired outcome. Consider timing and also what experience you want to be creating for your "student". It's essential that you have answers to the following two ques(t)ions before proceeding to Step 2. 1) How will I know specifically when the person is demonstrating the desired behaviour (what behavioral evidence will there be?). 2) What will I do as soon as I observe the desired behaviour? (i.e. what will I say or do to reinforce that behaviour) STEP 2: Implementation Implement your plan and make sure that you are observing carefully for the positive behaviour that you desire. As soon as you do, in that very moment, reinforce the positive behaviour. This could be done by way of giving a reward or treat, a touch, or saying something to let them know that you approve of that behaviour. STEP 3: Reinforcement Repeat Step 2 frequently enough for the other person to build the behaviour into their way of being. STEP 4: Set-Down Make random the frequency of the positive reinforcement. For example, reinforce the positive behaviour every 4th time that they demonstrate the behaviour, then switch to every 7th time, then switch to every 3rd time - instead of every time. A top tip for this method is to have patience. Be prepared to move at the other person's pace. Also be ready to give positive reinforcement unexpectedly. Keep your eyes and ears to the ground! Under the spotlight When a symptom shows up in your body, your attention is drawn to it. How much of your attention is drawn to it will depend on the frequency and intensity of the symptom, but to some degree or another, your focus of attention becomes drawn toward the symptom, and your life gets interrupted as a result. Because we tend to hate such interruptions and disturbances to our life, we "go to battle" with the symptom with the aim of eradicating it so that we can get on with "life as normal". Modern medicine operates from the foundation that the body is like a machine and therefore fixing it is a mechanical process. This means that interpreting symptoms does not happen, and consequently the symptoms and illness, are meaningless. The vital function of symptoms - which is a signal of dis-ease in the body - gets completely ignored. A metaphor for this is presented in the international bestseller "The Healing Power of Illness" (by Thorwald Dethlefsen and Rudiger Dahlke M.D). It likens modern medicine's approach to illness and symptoms, with car troubles. If you were on a car journey and a red bulb lights up on the dash board, you are typically not happy about it, but at the same time you'll probably be grateful that it has alerted you to something that's in the 'invisible zone'. If the red light hadn't come on, it might have taken a lot longer to discover that something's up. Although it means an interruption to your journey, you interpret the red light as a signal to call out the mechanic. Imagine how you would feel if the mechanic came along and just removed the bulb that had been flashing red? You wouldn't be too pleased! What you want is for the mechanic to shift his attention away from the red bulb, and on to discover what lies behind the issue. The lights real function in other words, is and was simply to act as an indicator to make us ask ques(t)ions. A different way to think of your symptoms, is that they are like the red bulb on the dash board of the car. Symptoms show up to alert you to the fact that something is no longer in order and make you ask ques(t)ions about what lies behind it all. It would be absurd to be angry about the symptoms, and even more absurd to try and stop them by simply preventing them from appearing. At The 4th R we help people with health issues wake up from their neck down so that they can recognize symptoms for what they really are. If you want to find out more, call Charles or Janice on 020-8974-8974, or visit http://www.the4thr.co.uk/services.html Experience Profound Relaxation today: New product for sale An audio product called "Profound Relaxation" is the first in a line of self-help products being produced by The 4th R. It leads listeners into a profoundly relaxed state which is the foundation upon which stress and anxiety "coping skills" can be built. The Mythogenic Self™ Experience uncovers what it is you actually want. It frees you from the depression, anxiety and mental paralysis that comes from putting off for tomorrow. It makes making decisions easy. It stops your past troubling your future. It shows you how to act on an idea. An idea you want to make happen. But that's not all...The Mythogenic Self Experience - 25th/ 26th November - U.K. This used to be called our "Educational Evening" but thanks to feedback from some of our readers, we've re-named these events "Learn to Relax Class"! It's a drop-in class every Tuesday night from 6.30 to 7.30 in Surbiton (Claremont Natural Health Centre - 15 minutes from London Waterloo). It costs £7 to attend and these evenings are suitable for anyone, regardless of age and stress levels, including the elderly and disabled. | Back | |
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