Relaxation Matters Issue 4

Your 10 minute read to a happier body and mind

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Learning to relax : Choosing who you hang out with

Stress Solutions+ : What to do when you're thrown off centre

Under the spotlight : You!! You!! You!!

Hot news : A dose of reality once a day with or without food

Hot topic : How to prevent yourself dropping in a heap from exhaustion

Up-coming training : You'll have a whole lot more to talk about than the quality of the biscuits on THIS training!

Educational evening : Wednesday 28th June

Learning to relax

Choosing who you hang out with

This relaxation lesson is to do with choosing who you spend time with and who you don't. There are some people who have such exquisite control of their internal experience that it doesn't matter who they are with, they can remain at ease on the inside. But a lot of people haven't yet developed this level of control, and so they find themselves swept along like an emotional roller coaster by the people around them and what they are saying.

Until you have the kind of control where it no longer matters, it's a good idea to start consciously thinking in these terms about people you hang out with:

• When I'm with "X" do I naturally remain relaxed/at ease within?
• When I'm with "X" do they, through what they say and how they behave, reinforce my desire to be relaxed/at ease within?
• When I'm with "X" are they so relaxed/at ease themselves that even if I'm having a bad day, they have a good effect on me?

If there are people you spend time with who you answered "no" about, then it's probably a good idea to limit the amount of time you spend in their company - especially if you have a health issue that needs you to remain relaxed.

A friendly caution about family and best friends

These are the people who usually have the biggest impact on your emotional state. They seem to press all the buttons that affect your emotional state (even if they don't realize that they're doing it). These are also the people who you might find it hardest to deal with. Eventually, if you keep your attention on learning how to be relaxed, you will build the capacity to be in the presence of these people, and, no matter how they are, you will remain relaxed within yourself, but until then here's a tip to help:

Help family and best friends get that you expect them to come from a positive bias when in your company. A way that doesn't include bitching and moaning. For example, if they start down a track that you can feel yourself responding negatively to, find a reason to be excused. Or you could say something or do something to divert their attention onto something else, thus stopping them in their tracks, giving you the opp(o)rtunity to direct the conversation some where else. Be creative with these people. Have fun doing it. You'll be am(a)zed how quickly they'll get, that around you at least, only a positive bias will do!

Stress Solutions+

What to do when you're thrown off centre

By centre I'm referring to that feeling inside that's present when you know all's well in the world. When you know you're OK. When a person practices being centred regularly, the times when they're thrown off centre will lessen. But even for these people being thrown off centre can and still does happen. The difference between these people and others not so well practiced in living from their centre, is how they respond when it happens.

Here's their secret. And it's one that could transform you.

Being thrown off centre symbolizes a call. A call that says "Come on sleepy head. You're in sleepy land. Wake up. Come on a trip". The trip is a journey that ultimately frees you to live an extraordinary life. It's an opp(o)rtunity to experience all of life from a position of profound peace.

Lesson #1
When thrown off centre, recognize it as a call to wake you up and an opp(o)rtunity to have an extraordinary life.

The journey you are about to take is a journey into your own loneliness to find the jewel, the centre of you that's impossible to find when you're socially engaged. This search for the jewel inside of you is happening because you feel something is lost or missing and you're going to find it.

Lesson #2
Feel both your feet connected to the ground beneath you, take a deep breath, slowly exhale and in doing so you are crossing the threshold into your new life. Shift your attention from the external things around you to the internal experience you are having. Notice in your body how it feels. Take your time to notice everything about how you are feeling inside your body. Notice how you might have shifted your posture, sometimes only ever so slightly, other times quite dramatically, or perhaps not at all.

Like this you are centred again (you are your jewel). Practice being this way by recalling in your body how it feels.

Lesson #3
Keep practicing being centred. Make the adjustments in and to your body so that you remain there. The more you do this, the easier you'll find it to return there when thrown off centre in future.

Under the spotlight

You!! You!! You!!

The words that come out of your mouth impact your experience of life (as well as any one close enough to hear your words). The words you use effect how you feel within your self because you create what you speak. In other words, your words are creating the reality that you experience.

With this in mind, catch yourself when ever you use the word "you" when really what you mean is "I". For example:

" you can't believe the amount of times people say "you" instead of "I" "

Should have read:

" I can't believe the amount of times people say "you" instead of "I" "

Another example:

" when you have a long hot soak in the tub all your muscles relax" "

Should have read:

" when I have a long hot soak in the tub all my muscles relax" "

Hot news

A dose of reality once a day with or without food

It's absurd to think that you should be feeling happy all the time. That every moment of every day should be smelling of roses and abound with laughter and happiness.

Life means experiencing the full range of emotions, including feeling low some times. Remember this the next time you're feeling down and rejoice in the fact that you're human!

Hot topic

How to prevent yourself dropping in a heap from exhaustion at the end of a day

This issues hot topic focuses on what's necessary for you to have the kind of day where at the end of it you're feeling comfortably sleepy rather than ready to drop in a heap from exhaustion.

A great deal of energy is consumed by a person's muscles when they move, especially because most people's movements are made without any awareness of what they are actually doing. All movement requires muscles somewhere in the body to contract and the ideal is to be efficient in movement so that only the required muscles for that particular movement contract (rather than a bunch of others as well...all day long...leading to tremendous fatigue and exhaustion at the end of the day).

So here's what to do

Your entire nervous system is organized in such a way that, whenever you do something by contracting muscles, you also get feedback about what you're doing. This means you have the potential to be able to adjust the amount of muscle contraction necessary to perform the action smoothly, accurately and in the most energy efficient way.

For 5 minutes every day, practice tracking in your body the feedback that your nervous system is sending you. Literally feel in your body what is going on when you move (i.e. when you sit, stand, walk, reach for something, bend down etc.).

Then experiment a little bit. Repeat a movement, but this time do it with the intention of sensing a feeling of "rightness" about it. By that I mean a smooth, accurate movement, contracting only the muscles that feel most natural to contract to achieve the desired movement.

Track again the feedback in your body from your nervous system. All the information is there that you need. Tune into yourself fully. When you feel that sense of "rightness" that's described above, repeat the movement a few more times. This builds it into what's called your muscle memory. And when it's in your muscle memory it becomes part of your every day activities.

At last! A remarkable breakthrough for excessively busy minds: Dance of the Elements™

You'll have a whole lot more to talk about than the quality of the biscuits on this training!

The Mythogenic Self™ Experience is a weekend training where the chocolate digestives most definitely aren't centre stage. In fact we guar(a)ntee that you'll be so absorbed in the profound shifts occurring within you, that the time will just slip by...

Find out more about the training that forms the basis of the Learn to Relax services provided by relaxation for health specialists, The4thR

Educational Evening

If you want to be able to relax as automatically as you read and write then come and learn how. Join Charles Moore on Wednesday 28th June in Kingston upon Thames for his monthly educational evening.

Find out more and book

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