 | Un-popular strategies to help you get what you want in lifeThursday, 13 December 2007 If the promise is out there for a quick fix, I'll bet you that most people will opt for that rather than get involved in something that's going to take a life time of effort and commitment. A percentage of those people may however say "Yes - I'm willing to make an effort and do what it takes to have my life work - tell me what I need to do!". Then they discover that the particular "Heroes Path" that I'm suggesting involves stepping right out of their comfort zone, living their life in virgin territory, confronting their greatest fears, letting go of the things they sought security from, leaving behind some of the people they associated with, and holding themselves 100% accountable for their experience ... the number of people willing to read on dwindles. Those that do read on though gain comfort from knowing that although they are living their life in "virgin territory" (or are on the threshold of doing so), that territory has in fact been shared by many before them. It's a path that's unique to each individual yet well traveled by others who have left the comfort of their ordinary world to search for something greater in their life. So what is it that triggers this search? What's going on in people's lives to cause them to be looking for answers ... for help? What is it that people are searching for?
There can be an infinite number of answers to these questions, but from my time spent as a student of Joseph Riggio (www.josephriggio.com), the creator of the MythoSelf Process, there is one answer that I think is universal, and it is this:
That people, with some level of awareness or another, are yearning to fill the deep sense of emptiness that exists within them.
They want to bring forth into their life something that they don't presently have, in the hope that the void will be filled. Ever more patients complain of what they call an "inner void," and that is the reason why I have termed this condition the "existential vacuum." In contradistinction to the peak-experience so aptly described by Maslow, one could conceive of the existential vacuum in terms of an "abyss-experience." Victor Frankl The Will to Meaning, p. 83 Here are 9 less popular keys to doing just that: 1. Build Your Competency Being competent at whatever you do is the first key to consciously bringing forth what you want. If you want to become a great footballer, then practice football. If you want to be able to relate better to people in your life, develop your communication skills. If you want to start your own business, then study others who have been successful in starting their own business. Becoming competent in whatever area of life you want to master means that you are more likely to attract what you want because your behaviour will be consistent with your actions. 2. Choose a Positive State of Mind (feelings, moods and attitude) Maintaining a positive state of mind as often as possible is the second key. In his essay on Compensation, Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "What ever you think, you shall receive." This is because your state of mind is an attractor of like experiences. For example, if you are having a great day and smiling at people, people treat you nicely and smile back. Likewise, if you have a negative attitude and are moody toward people, you attract moodiness back. Your outer reality is a reflection of your inner reality so if you want to bring forth more positive experiences in your life, then adopt a positive state of mind. Notice what thoughts you are having and consequently what attitudes you are projecting. Are they serving you in bringing forth what you want? When you sort for the positive, you'll attract a whole new set of positive experiences. 3. Resolve Any Unresolved Issues In Your Life The third key to consciously bringing forth what you want is to bring closure to any unresolved issues that you have in your life. Examples of unresolved issues are negative emotions such as jealousy, anger, hate and betrayal. Deal with them by confronting each of them individually and doing what needs to be done so you can let them go. Sometimes this might simply involve acknowledging what you are feeling, honouring it and then letting it go. With other issues you may need to face up to them fair and square and see through actions that you had been putting off before they can be resolved once and for all. Carrying a past unresolved issue is a big drain on your energy and leaves you stuck in a state of turbulence and chaos. If you want your life to flow more smoothly and to bring forth your heart's desires, then clean up any unfinished business you have. Doing so allows your energy to flow unhindered; you'll be more creative, have more fun and it will open you up to a new world of possibilities. 4. Disregard Beliefs and Imprints That Limit You, and Adopt Ones That Will Empower You Instead The fourth key to consciously bringing forth what you want is to become aware of your limiting beliefs and imprints and then to change them into beliefs of empowerment. Your beliefs and imprints are energetic attractors. Whether they are positive or negative, they will bring forth experiences that represent the unconscious memories and emotions that live inside of you. These emotions and memories will continue to play out over time and be reflected back to you. The Delphi Oracle said that the key to bringing forth what you want is in "Knowing Thyself". Knowing yourself includes knowing what your limitations are and what empowers you. Once you've uncovered a limiting belief such as "Money is tough to come by", you can then change that belief and replace it with something more positive like "Money comes quickly and easily to me". Doing this will attract a new set of experiences to you. 5. Set Your Intent Having an intention in mind for what sort of experience you want to be having is the fifth key to consciously bringing forth what you want. The word "intent" comes from the Latin "intend", which means to "stretch forward". Intent is a marriage of your will and your higher self. When you set your intent, you are opening the doors to bring forth the kinds of experience that you want to have. You are sending a message to the universe to reflect back your greatest desires. You live in a magical world that is filled with all kinds of wonderful attractors and setting your intent, followed up with massive action, is the key to opening the door to that world. 6. Get In Tune With Your Values The sixth key to consciously bringing forth what you want is to get in tune with your values. Many of the important decisions that you make and the actions you take are based on the values that you hold because they are such an energetic driving force in your life. Your values are representative of the experiences that you have in your life. If you are out of synch with one of your values, then you will attract experiences representative of that disharmony. For example, if you really value being honest, and then you do something that seems dishonest, you'll throw your whole system into turbulence. Your values are like a check point to keep you in balance. They maintain equilibrium and foster harmony in your system. When you are living your truth, and walking your talk, then you'll consciously bring forth what you want. Otherwise you'll create inner chaos and conflict. 7. Set goals, tune into your dreams and have vision The seventh key is to consistently set goals, hold onto your dreams, and to have a clear vision about what you want to do. Dreams and goals are key energetic attractors. They are the blueprint for bringing forth your heart's greatest desires. They also serve to keep you continually evolving towards being at your best. Whenever you combine dreams with goals and vision, then you have something to positively motivate and steer you in the right direction. When Tiger Woods, one of the world's greatest golfers, was a little boy, he set a goal to break all of the sports records in professional golf. He copied down the names and scores of all the golfing pros on a piece of paper, and listed all the golfing records they had set. He then hung this list above his bed and looked at it every night before he went to bed. Every night he dreamed about breaking each of those records. Tiger had achieved half his goals by the time he was 25. 8. Get in tune with your life's purpose and your dharma All living systems have a special purpose in life, whether it be molecules, stars, trees or water. Humans are the only life system that repeatedly get out of synch with their life's purpose. What makes humans so special is our conscious awareness, and our ability to make choices. It is these same traits that cause us grief, because sometimes we make choices that are out of alignment with our life purpose. Our life purpose and dharma are key attractors to bring forth what we want. Everyone has a purpose, and when you are out of alignment with your higher purpose, or your heart's desire, then you attract experiences that represent this disharmony. The reason we attract disharmony when we are out of alignment is because some greater part of ourselves is trying to regain balance. 9. Respect the morphogenetic field of all possibilities The ninth key to consciously bringing forth what you want is to respect the morphogenetic field of all possibilities. The word morphogenesis means "beginning of form," and implies that all living systems reside within an energetic field. For example, our families have holographic morphogenetic fields that influence us constantly. Any system that we participate in creates such a field, but with lesser impact. The more we become conscious of the impact of these fields and the fact that they influence us deeply, the more we can live "on purpose" and bring forth what we really want rather than unwittingly participating in an unconscious group/system sort of attractor. When we are fully aligned with all nine keys for bringing forth what we want, we enter into a magical morphogenetic field of Synchronicity where unusual coincidences happen almost daily. Adapted from "9 Keys to Consciously Bringing Forth What You Want" by Tim Hallbom and Kris Hallbom
| Articles, News, Events |  Give Yourself An Out!
Thursday, 31 July 2008
"Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action."
Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997There is a lot of truth in that statement, as anyone who does or has suffered from panic disorder or anxiety will know. But it isn't always so easy to put it into practice. These issues can cause us to feel more stressed by things that other people won't even notice, as a result of that ‘fight or flight' response being turned to the ‘on' position all the time. A friend of mine has struggled with anxiety for over three years now, and it can lead to tiring and stressful days that drain her of energy. An invitation to dinner would be a wonderful event for most people, but while she initially looks forward to it and says yes without even thinking twice, she then starts to panic that she won't be able to go because doing so might trigger a panic attack ... Read more... | Do You Have A Clear Conscience?
Monday, 30 June 2008 People who live stress free tend to rely on their intuition and conscience much more than those who are perpetually stressed. Stressed people often do things based upon what other people will think of them rather than ...
Read more... | The Do Nothing Stress Management Technique
Sunday, 1 June 2008 IntroductionThis week we had a mother come to us who is quite sick from prolonged stress. It reminded me to be very grateful to an incredible human being and world class trainer Joseph Riggio (www.josephriggio.com and www.mythoself.com ). Joseph had the insight to teach me how to do nothing, and it's turned out to me the most useful thing I could have ever learnt, especially pre-motherhood. This edition of Relaxation Matters is going to explore why becoming masterful in the art of doing nothing is so important to being a mum, and I'm going to spend some time over the next few issues giving exercises that will help you to get good at doing nothing. If you're not a mum, or you can't see how doing nothing could possibly be of any use to you, please read on. The message contained with this newsletter is for everyone. It's what's at the heart of functional relaxation (being relaxed as you go about your day-to-day life) and offers immense stress management benefits ...
Read more... | Relaxation Matters Will Now Be Monthly
Wednesday, 14 May 2008 In the past, Relaxation Matters has been distributed on the 1st and the 15th of each month, but from now on this will change to monthly. This is mostly because motherhood is keeping me real busy, but also because 2008 will see some exciting improvements to The 4th R and I'm taking some time out from the newsletter to implement these changes. What would you like to see included in future issues? If you've got any ideas for things that you'd like to see included in future issues, please drop me an email and let me know (janice@the4thr.co.uk). Thanks, and speak to you again on the 1st June! Janice Read more... | Are you suffering from a large dose of delusion?
Wednesday, 30 April 2008 In the last 7 years I've discovered that most people who complain of symptoms of stress suffer from mild to severe delusion in relation to their efforts and competencies. In other words, most people delude themselves into thinking they are working harder than they are ...
Read more... | Champions thrive on self-talk
Monday, 14 April 2008 Self-talk is what we say to ourselves all day and it's also how we say it. For years, philosophers, psychologists and performance experts worldwide have known about the impact that self-talk has on us, yet many people are still oblivious to what they are saying to themselves and how it's effecting the quality of their lives and their health...
Read more... | The KISS technique to being more relaxed
Monday, 14 April 2008 KISS - Keep It Simple, Stupid - is the relaxation lesson for this edition of Relaxation Matters. It struck me that this is precisely what I need to do with an aspect of my work right now, and hey presto, as soon as I applied KISS to it, a weight that I'd been carrying around lifted. Read more... | Could an Inner Void be at the heart of your inability to relax?
Tuesday, 1 April 2008 Our Existential Predicament: Loneliness, Depression, Anxiety & Death
by James Park
Chapter 5 The Existential Void:
Discovering Our Bottomless Emptiness Ever more patients complain of what they call an "inner void,"
and that is the reason why I have termed this condition
the "existential vacuum." In contradistinction to the peak-experience
so aptly described by Maslow,
one could conceive of the existential vacuum
in terms of an "abyss-experience." -Victor Frankl The Will to Meaning, p. 83 Read more... | Dehydration Suicide - Is This You?
Friday, 14 March 2008 Some time ago while lying in the bath I had the idea to write a book called "The Little Book Of Water". While staring into the flame of a lavender candle and enjoying the luxurious bubbles it occurred to me how precious water is, and in how many different ways we use it in our lives. It reminded me of a story about a King who thought he valued Gold more than Salt ... Read more... | Basic Concepts About Your Body
Friday, 29 February 2008 "Our bodies are dynamic entities. Our cells are reproducing, processing, and dying constantly as we live. Within a year, a month, the time it takes to read these words, we literally are not the same person we were before. Change is constant through the life cycle of the body... Read more... | I Feel Lonely
Friday, 29 February 2008 What a strange thing it is. To be amongst people, and yet to feel lonely. I'm speaking about a very specific kind of loneliness. It's the type that comes about when you're with people who have a different outlook on life than you. Further still, it's the kind of loneliness that's felt when these people try to impose their beliefs on you, and where you say nothing, for what ever reason. If you've attended MythoSelf Process trainings, NLP trainings, or engaged in other forms of personal development, you may have a sense of what I mean. Or perhaps you've always been different to other folk ;-) - in your beliefs and behaviours - and this leaves you feeling lonely at times. This month I'll be exploring what's possibly going on beneath the surface when you're with people yet feeling lonely, and offering some ways to help you feel differently in this situation ... Read more... | Lower Your Stress Levels By Training The People Around You To Do What You Want Them To
Friday, 15 February 2008 Does it annoy you when your partner doesn't replace the loo roll after using the last sheet?Is running out of ketchup because it didn't get put on the shopping list enough to freak you out? Does someone doing something at the 11th hour make you nuts when they've had plenty of notice and could have done it sooner? Situations like the ones above are enough to make the stress levels of some people soar, especially when it's to do with something that keeps on happening. This edition of Relaxation Matters focuses on giving positive reinforcement as a way in which to shape a person's behaviour and have them do what you want them to do.
Read more... | How Can I Win The Cooperation Of Others Easily?
Friday, 1 February 2008 My 4 month old daughter taught me this lesson while cooking along live to Gordon Ramsey on the TV the other week.Funny how a learning suddenly sinks in. (What's that saying about being able to take a horse to water .... ;->) Anyhow, thanks to a drive to get the nation cooking and my daughter's presence, I've learnt that being intentional in my actions elicits cooperation from others. Let me explain ... Read more... | A 2-Minute De-Stressing Activity
Friday, 1 February 2008 | A Simple Question That Stops Worry In Its Tracks
Monday, 14 January 2008 By asking yourself one simple question you can stop the worry cycle from taking grip of your mind. It's easy to remember, and provides instant results. It will also help you to reclaim thousands of hours that are otherwise lost to worry. The question is this:
Read more... | Being and Becoming vs Acquiring and Possessing
Monday, 31 December 2007 George Carlin, a US comedian, does a great sketch called "A place for my stuff". The general gist of it is that the accumulation of stuff plays a big part in people's lives, and a house is nothing more than "a place for my stuff". There's a line in the sketch that goes something like this ...
Read more... | How To Let Go And Move On Quickly
Monday, 31 December 2007 It would be easy for me to begin this months real life dilemma with an in depth exploration into why hasn't been so easy (for me .. and perhaps for you too) to quickly let go and move on when civilized communication has turned into war. But I won't start there because doing so isn't particularly in keeping with the MythoSelf Process. Plus it would be doing the very thing that actually causes what we want to avoid - i.e. going over what's already happened, processessing, festering, justifying and ultimately dragging things out is not conducive to letting go and moving on quickly. Instead I'm going to be entirely solution focused and I'll get right down to offering some tips and techniques to help you with letting go and moving on quickly ... Read more... | I ask for input, then ignore what I'm offered and do my own thing anyway
Friday, 30 November 2007 This month's "Real Life Dilemma" is guaranteed to get the goat up in anyone who is on the receiving end of it. Asking someone for their input, and then doing your own thing anyway can result in a fall-out of titanic proportions. I'll be presenting a scenario to illustrate this type of dilemma; exploring the tactics that are in play during such an exchange, and providing some tips on how to avoid this being a stressor in your relationships... Read more... | A Tension Relaxer That Can Be Performed Anywhere
Friday, 30 November 2007 This exercise is particularly useful because it only takes a few minutes and can be performed anywhere... Read more... | 7 Patterns That Govern Our Life
Wednesday, 14 November 2007 Nature knows only to well what it means to joyfully participate in the universal cycle of change. Only us humans resist many of the natural patterns within the cycle by trying to fight them, out wit them, deny them or hide from them. Yet awareness and joyful participation is what's needed ... for the sake of our stress levels, and our health.Here are 7 patterns that govern our life within the universal cycle of change: Read more... | How Do I Keep Calm When Everything Around Me Is Chaotic?
Wednesday, 31 October 2007 Ever watched those movies where just at the point of crisis a super hero shows up and makes every thing good? For some people, the equivalent of the Hollywood super hero does come to the rescue, but for most we are left to figure out our own way out of the chaos. This "Real Life Dilemma" aims to provide some tips and techniques to help you be your own super hero at those times in your life when you really don't think things could get any more difficult... Read more... | What Story Is Your Face Telling?
Wednesday, 31 October 2007 Your entire body expresses patterns of emotion, but none as directly as your face...
Read more... | Overcoming Difficulties in Relaxing
Sunday, 14 October 2007 Relaxation training is not without its challenges, but they can be overcome. Here are some of the most common with techniques to help you overcome them... Read more... | I shut down when things get too much
Monday, 1 October 2007 How can it be that I can barely remember anything about a good 10 years of my life? It's not as if I've been in an accident and suffered memory loss, and neither is it because I didn't do anything during that time worth remembering. Quite the contrary, I actually did a great deal of traveling, visiting 2 or 3 different countries a year most years. I moved house a couple of times, moved job a couple of times. Hardly an uneventful 10 years! Yet I have great difficultly recalling anything with any great detail. This month's real life dilemma will explore what's possibly going on to cause this comatose state, and what you can do to prevent it happening. Read more... | Freeing Yourself From The Stress Of Hating
Sunday, 30 September 2007 Hatred can be senseless, irrational and self destructive. It's also an underlying reason for the stress that some people experience. Here are a list of reasons why it's not in anyone's best interest to continue hating, and some tips on freeing yourself from hate. Read more... | Smoothing out stressful transitions
Thursday, 13 September 2007 Think of your day as a stream of activities that you move between. Some of those activities may be planned, others not. Some activities you may return to several times during the course of a day, while others will be one-offs. One thing that is true regardless of the nature of the activity is that at some point you begin the process of moving away from one activity to go onto the next.It's this transition between activities that I'd like to focus on today. Get your transitions right, and your stream of activities will flow uninterrupted. Get them wrong, and the stress of it could seriously mess up your day.
Read more... | Emotional stress releases powerful substances that “attack” your body
Tuesday, 14 August 2007 Person X has been diagnosed with a health issue and he/she hasn't learnt how to relax ... Read more... | Kicking the rigid thinking habit
Tuesday, 14 August 2007 Habit 1
Ever catch yourself using words like should, have to, must, got to, ought, or their opposites - shouldn't, can't, mustn't, oughtn't? ...Read more... | What is reality to your body?
Tuesday, 31 July 2007 A sign of a great movie is one where the story sweeps you along to the extent that 2 hours seems like 5 minutes and you feel afterward as if you've been on a journey yourself. This is how it was for the hundreds of people that crowded into cinemas for the release of ... Read more... | Being Around Certain Family Members Is Torture!
Tuesday, 31 July 2007 It begins with thinking about making the arrangements. The feeling of dread rises and by the time I've reached for the phone, I'm already feeling pretty stressed. A superficially pleasant conversation takes place and the arrangements are made. Next Sunday at their house. The next 24 hours is spent going over the phone call ... Continue reading Read more... | The challenge that comes with accepting you have choice
Saturday, 14 July 2007 In most areas of life we celebrate the fact that we have choice. Choice suggests free will, and that's something that most people are in favour of. Yet when it comes down to choice about our own behaviour (and therefore how we experience situations and life in general), we sometimes prefer to believe that we have no choice... Read more... | The framework within which you are living your life
Saturday, 14 July 2007 Almost every story contains a single common theme. That of a hero figure embarking on a journey of some kind. This can be seen in mythology, fairy tales, literature, films, and in the story of your own life. The reason for this commonality is because the heroes journey is the pattern of life, regardless of who, where or when in time, the pattern remains the same. The Functional Relaxation System is delivered with this journey in mind, and the journey itself is called The Heroes Journey. This is where we shall be focusing our attention this week, and don't be surprised if you find yourself thinking "how very true" as you read on... Read more... | We can help you automate your marketing
Sunday, 1 July 2007 If you've got a website that isn't making you money, it probably means you are working for it, instead of it working for you. Are you spending too much of your time struggling to get the attention of potential clients? Are you spending your limited financial resources trying to get noticed only to see a small boost in sales? Wouldn't you rather have an automated marketing engine, that brings you sales and leads, automatically, effortlessly and with minimal expenses and overheads? Visit www.automated-marketing-systems.com to make your website work for you... Read more... | Could loving be the ultimate cure all?
Sunday, 1 July 2007 | Choosing a life that works
Sunday, 1 July 2007 | Going Against The Grain
Friday, 15 June 2007 Our story, and why going against the grain could be good for you to. Read more... | Are You Trying To Create Happiness From The Outside In
Friday, 15 June 2007 Happiness comes from being and becoming, not acquiring and possessing. Yet in the consumer driven world we live in, the idea of being and becoming is a very strange idea and not always easily understood. Read more... | Loaf of bread, a pint of milk, and a sunny disposition please
Thursday, 31 May 2007 Seriously though, I wonder how many people would add 'sunny disposition' to their weekly shopping list if it were an off-the-shelf product from the supermarket? My guess is that ... Continue reading Read more... | I dig myself into a hole when I realize I've made a mistake about something, but won't admit it to the other person
Thursday, 31 May 2007 Swallowing your pride. Being big enough to own up. What ever term you use, the act of dropping your defences and being vulnerable to another person is the subject of this months real life dilemma. Here's the scenario...You realize that you're up to your neck again in your own BS, and rather than loose face, you ... Continue reading Read more... | Are you a victim of comfort and fear
Monday, 14 May 2007 An exploration into why people make do with plodding on and keeping their head low.At a dinner party recently a guest said to me "But not everyone has a choice!" We'd been talking about the recent news headline which revealed that 3 out of 4 people would rather be doing some other kind of work...continue reading Read more... | Your body reveals - Are you listening
Monday, 14 May 2007 There is a dialogue taking place between the needs of your body and the outer demands of the world all day long. This short awareness exercise...continue reading Read more... | See us in Psychologies Magazine
Friday, 4 May 2007 | Relaxation Tips
Friday, 4 May 2007 | Learn to Relax Tele Class Series
Monday, 30 April 2007 The Learn to RelaxTele-Class Series is a carefully crafted program that's been designed specifically for people who want (or need!) to learn how to relax, without delay, and from the convenience of their own home. Is this you?...Continue reading Learn to Relax Tele-Class Series... Read more... | Wake Up To the Menance of Stress
Monday, 30 April 2007 | The Worlds Most Effective System for Learning How To Relax
Monday, 30 April 2007 | I have all these ideas about things I could be doing but for some reason Im holding back and going round in circles thinking about it
Sunday, 29 April 2007 | Are you big enough to own up
Sunday, 29 April 2007 | Functional Relaxation Coaching
Saturday, 14 April 2007 | Three Cheers For The Black Sheep
Friday, 13 April 2007 | 7 Lies You Tell Yourself
Friday, 13 April 2007 | I regularly find myself having disagreements and fall outs with people because I do not agree with or like what they are saying
Sunday, 1 April 2007 | Heads it willll be a good day Tails it will be a bad day What side of the coin did you get today
Sunday, 1 April 2007 | Does your company produce a newsletter for employees
Tuesday, 30 January 2007 | Learn to Relax Tele Class Series
Sunday, 31 December 2006 | What Everyone Ought To Know About Stress eBook
Tuesday, 14 November 2006 | Learn how to have a life that works
Sunday, 1 October 2006 The Mythogenic Self Experience, 25th/26th November, U.K. Read more... | Experience Profound Relaxation today New product for sale
Wednesday, 13 September 2006 | Stuck in a rut Having trouble deciding
Saturday, 29 July 2006 The Mythogenic Self Experience is the ultimate tonic if you are a chronic "ifs buts and maybes" kind of person.. Read more... | Relax into Action
Saturday, 29 July 2006 This NEW 2-day training course is perfect for people who feel that stress and anxiety has put their life on hold. Read more... | New articles on relaxation
Tuesday, 11 July 2006 Relaxation in the workplace; Relaxation and Creativity; Relaxation and Doctors... Read more... | Educational Evening
Wednesday, 31 May 2006  It's virtually free to attend our monthly Educational Evenings, so if you'd like to be able to relax as easily as you read and write, then come along and learn how... Read more... | How well are you using and moving your body
Tuesday, 30 May 2006 Your emotional and physical health is impacted by how you use and move your body... Read more... | Relaxing Recovery Audio product for recovery patients
Thursday, 2 February 2006 An audio product for patients who are recovering from critical care... Read more... |
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